How expeditions can help us cope with the unexpected and adjust to change
Hello from lockdown here in Wales.
Whilst my corporate talks are temporarily paused I thought I’d share a few thoughts about my own experience of this unprecedented situation we are all being faced with at the moment.
I’m frequently talking about the importance of challenging ourselves and the fact that most learning takes place when we step outside our comfort zone, but I will certainly admit that my personal response to the changes that we are all being asked to make to our lives at the moment has tested me more than I anticipated.
At first I thought, well this is going to be a challenge…. great, that’s what I love. But, event by event, as all the conferences and speaking engagements dropped out of my diary I felt rudderless and lacking a sense of direction. Where should I channel my motivation now? Perhaps I could use all this time to help others and connect with my local community and those in need. But at 7 months pregnant I felt so torn between protecting my developing baby from the virus and the desire to make a positive impact.
My decision making has been compromised, prioritising is more difficult and I feel like I’m in a strange bubble. The normal parameters in which we operate have shifted, on a global scale.
We are all going to learn a lot about ourselves over the weeks and months, forced through no choice of our own to stay at home and go about our daily lives in very different ways. The leaders of health services, charities and businesses across the globe are being faced with a very real test of their leadership. How you respond in a crisis will define your leadership and shape your relationship with those around you.
My expeditions have taught me a lot about dealing with setbacks, stepping into the unknown and dealing with uncertainty and disappointment. I can still recall the total disbelief that the Beeline Britain team experienced when we encountered a ‘Canal Closed’ sign hanging across the Lancaster canal during one particularly cold February training weekend. No-one could have predicted this, but together, our collective attitude of “there must be another way’’ meant that we were able to find a solution.
There are five things in particular from my expeditions and challenges that I have found useful in the midst of this lockdown:
Control the controllable – on an expedition, it’s the weather that has a huge influence on daily plans and progress, and it’s the one thing you can’t control. So whilst in lockdown, it’s about working out the things you can control and letting go the things you can’t. For example, controlling what news you read, when you read it and how often you read it is something that I believe can have a huge impact on your mental well-being especially during a time when there are so many depressing and devastating stories being shared on social media and on television. Clicking ‘refresh’ in an almost unconscious manner is simply not healthy.
Celebrate the small stuff – I was told on several occasions during the preparation for my Everest climb that you must celebrate success along the way and that you shouldn’t wait until you reach the summit. Don’t wait until all of this is over.
Daily celebrations matter if you’re going to keep morale high for yourself and those around you. Give yourself a pat on the back for that meal you cooked, the blog you’ve been meaning to write. Take time to think about how you will reward yourself and show gratitude to other members of your household. We cooked dinner for each other over the Easter Bank Holiday weekend and even dressed up as if we were going out. Plus we’ve devoured this scrumptious chocolate cake, produced using a recipe from one of my favourite books by New Zealand’s Chelsea Winter.
Goals Goals Goals – now’s the time to generate some goals and I’m not talking about ones the size of Everest. They could be fun ones, silly ones, educational ones, helpful ones. Having a goal (or several) will give you a sense of purpose and direction and will provide you with some immediate options at times when you feel bored or without the activities that would normally fill your time.
For lots of people the lack of a daily commute has provided them with more time than normal. However, I can empathise with those parents attempting to become home-schooling wizards who probably have less time to themselves and not more. I have a toddler. We are using this time at home for potty training but we also have a long list of activities to turn to when required. And if there’s a child-free 15 minutes to be had I’m trying to find time to listen to Michelle Obama’s autobiography which I have borrowed as an eAudiobook from my local library (thanks to my sister-in-law who told me that eAudiobooks were available as loans in a similar way to hard copies).
I realise that there will be some people (with no time to read this blog) who are working harder than ever before to maintain essential services in our hospitals and communities and may not find this ‘goal setting’ advice in the least bit useful. I want to take this opportunity to say a heartfelt thank you to our key workers and NHS staff up and down the country who are demonstrating such courage and selflessness at this time.
Conversations – I can vividly remember many of the conversations I’ve had in expedition mess tents with people from all over the world. From understanding different political systems to seeing if we can name every US state. The beauty of remote expeditions with few external distractions is that you can be truly engaged in the moment. I find that the simplicity of life on expeditions clears the mind, makes way for contemplation and there is generally less going on in your head.
So whether you are living alone or with others, engage in conversation that isn’t prompted by a pinging phone or a breaking news alert. Let it grow organically and spontaneously.
An impromptu conversation with my six brothers-in-law a few years ago revealed how some of the assumptions we have in life can be unexpectedly altered. “How do you tie your shoe laces?” someone asked. Within minutes everyone was demonstrating and to our amazement there were about six different techniques. I always assumed there was only one way but it’s a good reminder that when we’re living with others there are numerous ways that people might execute tasks to achieve the same result. In this case, stopping your shoes falling off (an important expedition skill in itself!).
Remember, if you are finding life difficult at the moment, phone a friend or speak to someone who can help. This is a hugely challenging time and there are some brilliant organisations out there with some great advice and support. For example www.mind.org.uk www.youngminds.org.uk
Stop and stare at the night sky – Expedition life can be intense, especially when you are living in such close quarters with people who you don’t know and with whom you wouldn’t necessarily choose to share a tent. I have no doubt that this lockdown will strain many relationships so remember to find a way to carve out some time when you can be alone, if you think you need to.
Take the opportunity, particularly whilst our skies are clearer, to switch off the tech, put your gadgets on airplane mode, go outside if you can, lie down and look at the sky. I was amazed at how bright ‘Venus’ was a few nights ago and how immensely beautiful the moon was last night. Even if you can’t go outside, my husband has taught me the magic of looking at the moon through binoculars from inside the house.
These are just 5 things that I’ve learned from taking on challenges in with countless unknown variables. We didn’t prepare for this, or ask for it but I hope some of these ideas are useful. If you can create some structure, familiarity and companionship around your life in these times you may find you can move from fear and stress, to learning and healthy challenge.
I wish you all well. Stay safe, stay home.
